I’m glad I was depressed
When I was at Austin College, I found myself in a pit. I have talked about it before, but I was involved in very self-destructive behaviors and hated every second of life.
From the outside looking in I looked great. I was a collegiate athlete, I had a double academic scholarship, and I was making excellent grades. But, this wasn’t the case.
I was lost, broken, and had no hope. If ever I was in a pit, this was it.
Psalm 40 shows us a time David was in a pit and when he was so overwhelmed by life and emotions.
What is a pit you ask?
A pit could be any of life trials that leave us unable to free ourselves without the help of God.
For me, being wrapped in sin and depression was my pit. But, what does Psalm 40 say we should do when we find ourself in the lowest of lows?
1) Wait for the Lord (Psalm 40:1-5)
I have heard this before, “wait for the Lord.” But, it means way more than what it says.
When I buy something, and it’s shipped through Fedex, I check my phone for the delivery time, I check outside my door for the package, and I wait anxiously because I know at any moment my package will arrive. I don’t just sit around ignoring any possibility of it showing up.
In the same way, we are to wait for the Lord.
Isaiah 41:10 says:
We are to prepare ourselves through prayer and crying out to God because we wait because we know that something big is going to happen.
We dive into the word because it tells us everything we need to know about how God delivers us from our pit.
The tougher, more extreme, or intense our pit is, the more steadfast we are to wait for the Lord to deliver us.
Waiting is a perfect time to tune our hearts to God so when He answers we know exactly how and then we can thank Him for it after. Which leads us to my second point:
2) Proclaim God’s goodness (Psalm 40:9-10)
It’s only a matter of time before God delivers you from your pit. When He does, it is crucial that you praise Him endlessly for it.
You may not see it now, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. And, believe it or not, God makes all things work together for his good.
I didn’t think that my depression and self-hatred would lead to an intense testimony that testifies to God’s love and pursuit for me. Nor did I realize that I was going to be a youth minister.
In the same way, God will use your pit for something beautiful even if it feels like he won’t now. And when he does, it is ever more delightful to praise God knowing that even He can turn muck into a masterpiece.
That is why I’m glad I was depressed at Austin College. I get to praise God because he has delivered me from suffering and the deepest pit I have ever been in. And, I have a story that impacts people and brings God glory.
So, what is your pit?
Maybe, like me, it is depression. Or, maybe life’s events have you feeling like you are cornered with no hope or escape.
Whatever the case, turn to the Lord today. Patiently wait for Him expecting Him to fulfill His promise. When He does, never cease to proclaim His goodness and what it has done in your life.